REVISION AND PRACTICE
Week 5 — Quick Revision
On this page 7 headings
Start here Emotional intelligence and conflict management in one page.
Emotional intelligence
- Emotions are normal energy and messages; no good or bad emotions.
- EI = recognising, understanding and managing your own and others’ emotions.
- Benefits: self-awareness, empathy, communication, decisions, conflict resolution, freedom from emotional baggage, health, leadership, productivity, job satisfaction. EQ often trumps IQ.
- Viktor Frankl: between stimulus and response there is a space — our power to choose our response.
The 6R framework
| R | Key idea |
|---|---|
| Recognise | Name the emotion and its trigger; check body sensations, energy, intensity (1–10). |
| Respect | Accept and express: “I am feeling angry / hurt.” Respect yours → respect others’. |
| Rationalise | Process through journaling, talking, meditation, nature. Ask: what thoughts trigger it? How true are they? |
| Release | Let go of buried emotional baggage daily. |
| Response-able | Choose your response. Amygdala hijack: flight–fright–fight–freeze in ~6 seconds; hours to recover. Pause, water, breathe, walk away. |
| Resilient | Be kind to yourself; carry lessons, not baggage. |
Goleman’s five principles
Self-awareness · Self-regulation · Motivation · Empathy · Social skills.
- Taj hotel: smile disarms anger; empathy for tired guests.
- 10-hour train journey: anger turned into motivation. Anger = what you expect isn’t happening.
- Dropped cricketer jogging at 6 a.m.; best players asleep by 9 p.m.
- Gandhi and Ramanujan turned hardship into purpose.
- Conflict is always there — accept it, don’t run from it.
Types of conflict (within us)
| Type | Key idea |
|---|---|
| Voices | Inner chatter vs inner voice of wisdom (head vs heart). Pause the replay; journal. |
| Values | Be clear on values; don’t compromise them; find common ground. |
| Perspective | Different lenses; learn from differences; use spheres of control. |
| Expectations | Of yourself and others. Talk openly; turn them into clear agreements. |
Conflict management styles (Thomas–Kilmann)
| Style | Assertive | Cooperative |
|---|---|---|
| Avoiding | 0 | 0 |
| Competing | 9 | 0 |
| Accommodating | 0 | 9 |
| Compromising | 5 | 5 |
| Collaborating (best) | 9 | 9 |
- Outcomes: lose–lose, win–lose, win–win (best).
- Army: war gaming → operation order → carry it out as your own; self becomes secondary.
- Ask “So what?” to test options.
EI applied
- Heart of Department: chai time, open door, active listening, say sorry, shelve ego.
- Knowledge Theme Park: listen deeper; freshers presented creatively → customer delight.
- Merger thank-you email: appreciate what is working.
- Kung Fu Panda: fire in the belly; be present; find each person’s motivator; it’s all in the mind.
- Psychological safety: if people don’t come to you, go to them (Dean visiting hostels).
- Team players: “what you appreciate, appreciates”; talk to teammates directly first; bring solutions, not complaints; be assertive (firm, not rude).