Emotional Intelligence and Conflict Management Applied

Start here A professor became Head of his Department — and changed his title to “Heart of Department”. Why? Because, he says, it’s the heart that connects people. This page shows EI in action at real workplaces.

When Prof. Sivakumar became HOD (Head of Department) of Applied Mechanics, he renamed it “Heart of Department” — and also “Heart on Duty”.

• Every person wants to grow, and also wants the department to grow. If people stop others from growing, the department can’t grow. When people realise this, they start understanding each other.
• Chai time: he started informal tea meetings with no agenda. People opened up, understood each other, and talked about the department’s shared vision.
• People are different, but now they see variety as strength — like a family.

Every day brings challenges: a faculty member flares up, a scholar wants to change supervisor, students complain about lab problems.

• Lend your ears. Listen actively and with empathy. Just listening helps people move out of their emotional state and solve problems themselves.
• Say “sorry”. He admits he’s not perfect. When he makes a mistake, he says sorry — a “golden word”.
• Keep the door open. His office door is always open, so people feel welcome.
• Handle gossip wisely. When someone speaks badly of another, he points out something good about both people. This shows everyone contributes.
• Shelve your ego. When people know your ego isn’t in front and you have no hidden agenda, they speak openly.

EQ vs IQ: He places EQ a notch above IQ. Prof. Prasanna adds that corporates now look for employees with higher EQ.

Lecture example — sharing the loss In one company making losses, employees agreed to pay cuts so that nobody would lose their job. That came from strong emotional connection with each other.

Lecture example — Prof. Kartic’s “Knowledge Theme Park” Around 2010, after the 2008 recession, many people started leaving jobs. His team served a client of 8 years. The client worried that new freshers didn’t have enough knowledge.

For months, the team showed PowerPoint decks, metrics and test results. The client still wasn’t convinced.

Listening deeper, they found the real worry: the client’s quality team needed to prove the value to their own business stakeholders.

At a conference, Kartic saw games used to engage young employees. So they tried something risky: let the freshers themselves create something creative — not slides — about the insurance domain, and present it directly to the client. They called it the “Knowledge Theme Park”.

The client was delighted: “You have innovated amazingly.” They saw the freshers’ knowledge first-hand.

Lessons:

• Active listening with empathy is the first and most important skill with customers.
• Don’t fix every problem the standard way. Understand what each stakeholder really needs.
• Be open-minded; experiment. It took about 1.5 years of listening and trying.
• Numbers and slides don’t always convince — real human connection does. This turned customer happiness into customer delight.

Lecture example — the merger In the mid-2000s, Prof. Kartic’s fast-paced startup merged with an older, slower, more stable company. Neither was right or wrong — they were just different cultures.

Every meeting became a blame game. Middle managers were sandwiched between both sides. This went on for months.

Then he accepted that both sides were good people doing their best. He listed the progress made, however small, and the efforts of the other side. He sent a thank-you email to the other company’s VP and director and his own director — with zero expectation.

That email won hearts on both sides. It brought positivity back into the working relationship.

Lesson: In hard times, look at what is working, not only at what isn’t. A few words of appreciation can change everything. Don’t get so lost in results that you lose relationships.

Prof. Kartic is a fan of the animated film Kung Fu Panda. He draws four EI lessons from it:

Prof. Prasanna adds: much emotional turbulence comes from being stuck in the past and worrying about the future. Conflict starts within us first.

Prof. Sivakumar’s practices:

• Set an example — keep the door open.
• Create safe spaces — some people can’t speak in big meetings, so offer small groups or one-to-one talks.
• In meetings, let junior people speak first, before seniors.
• Align department goals with people’s personal goals. This gives them belonging.
• Help people stuck in self-doubt after failure — talk with them and explore options.

Lecture example — becoming Dean of Students As a student advisor, many students came to him with problems. When he became Dean, they suddenly stopped coming — they saw power. So he went to them — visiting every hostel. He emailed: “I may be Dean, but I am also a father, a brother, a son. If you have something to share, I am always there.” Within weeks, 40–50 students came to talk.

Lesson for leaders: People may hesitate to approach you because of your position. A position is power to serve. Go to them.

• Value every teammate’s strengths. Everyone has positives and negatives. “What you appreciate, appreciates.” (Example: tennis players Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi were world number one as a pair — far higher than as single players.)
• Before going to your manager: understand the problem, your role, and the team’s shared goals. Don’t go just to complain — go with a possible solution.
• Talk to the teammate directly first. If someone is lagging behind, tell them yourself. Don’t let it grow and then complain to the boss — you’ll lose a teammate. Go together and report the status, not “this person is the problem”.
• Be assertive. Assertiveness means being firm, speaking with conviction and following your values — not being rude or disrespectful.
• EI is a lifelong practice — and remember, others are there to support you.

Prof. Sivakumar recommends animated films about emotions, such as Inside Out, and especially Up — where an old man must let go of his beloved house to save himself and others. Letting go is part of emotional intelligence.

Everyday example Your project partner hasn’t sent his part. Instead of complaining to the professor, you message him: “Hey, we need your section by Thursday to submit on time. Are you stuck? Can I help?” Firm, kind and direct — that’s assertive.

In one line: Listen, appreciate, keep the door open, go to people, and speak up firmly but kindly. Exam words: heart of department, active listening, empathy, “sorry”, ego, customer delight, appreciation, be present, different motivators, psychological safety, power to serve, assertiveness, letting go.